Things that are on my brain right now consist mostly of school. I keep thinking of all the things that have to get done and yet some how never seem too amidst the panic ridden anxiety issues, bouts of insomnia and then sleeping for 13 hours straight (okay thats not completely accurate, but its how I feel), two days of a lovely stomach virus, and general forgetting about them. For some odd reason right now, I keep feeling like I have a TON of things to do, but in all honesty theres not a whole lot, just a few things here and there that when added together make a sizable but fairly reasonable amount of things that I need to do.
However, when I think about what I have to do when it comes to school for some reason my brain gets utter lost in all the chaos of it and then freaks out and gets overwhelmed when I try to rationalize doing things in an organized manner. It sucks and I can't control it (another lovely side effect of the whole anxiety thing).
I try making lists. People tell me to do that a lot and sometimes they help, as I love getting to cross things off and feeling that small tiny bit of achievement at something so trivial (sometimes I will write out small things that are easily completed just so I can cross it off), but other times list instead terrorize me. I see all the things written out on paper, clean and orderly, all in a column and something about it, maybe the sheer number of things or the fact that it looks so organized and the rest of me feels so chaotic, they just instead intimidate me and make me feel inadequate.
This blog post is kind of shorter compared to usual ones, but thats because I dont want to become ranty and really dont know what else to write about. I just went with what first popped in my mind and honestly is something that I needed to say just didnt have a platform to do so, but currently thats on my brain, my lack of productivity simply because I feel overwhelmed and dont know what to do.
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