Soooooooooooooo, for any of you who don't know, DUNBAR HAS A FREAKING LIT MAG and it's pretty legit.
Like legit enough that the Creative Writing 2/3 class, yeah thats pretty muich the bulk of what we do second semester.
Meaning we build this things from scratch, come up with a designer, theme, pictures, find funny quotes to start sections, and then go through lots of pieces from students at Dunbar and pick the best of the best to go into our little, beautiful, lovely Lit Mag.
So thats what my life has been devoted to for the past 2.5 months give or take. Like if you were to ask me what are the three things that consume my life right now it would be 1. School 2. Work (because Cinamark is a horrible place when you work there, but also the best place ever) and 3. Lit Mag.
For I dont even know how long now I've been staying after school, hold up in Turner's dungeon of a lab with a couple other students and Egan, placing pieces, finishing the design, makign it just look freaking amazing and staying at Dunbar until 5:30 and 6 at night.
Its horrible and amazing all at the same time. Hormazing. Amazible. Horramazibleing. Whatever.
It's been a lot of work and because of that I do take pride in that and really want other people to want to see it and be in it and work on it and buy it and read it and covet it and worship it and just all around find it maybe half as amazing as I do.
So on that note.
The Lit Mag is called Incriminating Ink and will soon be out meanign we will soon be selling them. And that means you all should by them because they are like $5 and some of you all are in it and they are just awesome and we work really hard on them.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Make Up Blog #14
So about a week ago I wrote this:
"My freshman year, I could classify a Shakespearean sonnet, but I couldn’t begin to write a personal narrative. I took all the right classes and kept my grades perfect. I thought I was supposed to do this in high school; little did I realize that I concentrated on schooling, not education. I had facts, figures, and a quota of high school experiences, but I hadn’t even begun to figure out who I was. Then came the class where schooling and education meshed into one. My junior AP English class, taught by a teacher rumored to eat students, who taught real lessons which extended outside a textbook. We learned a lot that year: the Vietnam War, September 11th, and modern writing in O’Brien’s The Things They Carried and Foer’s Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close; rhetorical devices with a photo scavenger hunt through everyday life; and essay writing through the essay-a-week method in order to strengthen our writing skills. All of this seemed like a normal English class until I realized the more I did, the more it shaped me. This class changed how I viewed being “educated;” I realized I wasn’t. I submitted myself to schooling, stunted by never applying my learning. This teacher changed that, forcing growth. I think this idea of “schooling” versus “education” needs to be addressed, for students are sucked into the syphon of academics only, never seeing there’s more to life than trig or protractors or dissecting cats or Columbus sailing the ocean blue in 1492 and that “to be or not to be” is not the only question or any of the other exhausting things that plague us. Students need to realize that if we continue to let schooling get in the way of education, we will stagnate: lacking in learning and inadequate in edification."
It was my 300 word essay that would hopefully grant me entrance into the Honors college at NKU. And it did.
I sent it off the afternoon after writing it (and having Egan cut 157 words from it and yell at me for having too many "thats" and repeatedly saying that "in1492" was not needed even though it totally and completely WAS!) and the next morning they sent me an email saying the standard "Thank you for your submission, we will consider it and get back to you with our decision in 2-3 weeks."
Fastforward 8 hours and I get another email form NKU.
"Dear Loralyn, Congratulations!!"
I got really excited after reading that and kind of jumped to the fact that I did get into honors program, but then realized I should keep reading in case it was like "Congratulations! We caught the last of the rabid raccoons on campus, so no worries about getting rabies in the Fall of 2013, well unless you just go play with wild animals on your own time, but then thats your fault not ours so.... CONGRATULATIONS!!"
So I did read on.
"We are pleased to offer you a spot in the Honors Program for Fall 2013."
There may still be rabid raccoons on campus, but hey I'm in the Honors Program.
Who's excited for classes about "amusement parks in america," classes that take "weekly and biweekly field trips" around Cincinatti, and classes with no tests?
Me. Because Fall of 2013 I will be at NKU, Honors Program.
"My freshman year, I could classify a Shakespearean sonnet, but I couldn’t begin to write a personal narrative. I took all the right classes and kept my grades perfect. I thought I was supposed to do this in high school; little did I realize that I concentrated on schooling, not education. I had facts, figures, and a quota of high school experiences, but I hadn’t even begun to figure out who I was. Then came the class where schooling and education meshed into one. My junior AP English class, taught by a teacher rumored to eat students, who taught real lessons which extended outside a textbook. We learned a lot that year: the Vietnam War, September 11th, and modern writing in O’Brien’s The Things They Carried and Foer’s Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close; rhetorical devices with a photo scavenger hunt through everyday life; and essay writing through the essay-a-week method in order to strengthen our writing skills. All of this seemed like a normal English class until I realized the more I did, the more it shaped me. This class changed how I viewed being “educated;” I realized I wasn’t. I submitted myself to schooling, stunted by never applying my learning. This teacher changed that, forcing growth. I think this idea of “schooling” versus “education” needs to be addressed, for students are sucked into the syphon of academics only, never seeing there’s more to life than trig or protractors or dissecting cats or Columbus sailing the ocean blue in 1492 and that “to be or not to be” is not the only question or any of the other exhausting things that plague us. Students need to realize that if we continue to let schooling get in the way of education, we will stagnate: lacking in learning and inadequate in edification."
It was my 300 word essay that would hopefully grant me entrance into the Honors college at NKU. And it did.
I sent it off the afternoon after writing it (and having Egan cut 157 words from it and yell at me for having too many "thats" and repeatedly saying that "in1492" was not needed even though it totally and completely WAS!) and the next morning they sent me an email saying the standard "Thank you for your submission, we will consider it and get back to you with our decision in 2-3 weeks."
Fastforward 8 hours and I get another email form NKU.
"Dear Loralyn, Congratulations!!"
I got really excited after reading that and kind of jumped to the fact that I did get into honors program, but then realized I should keep reading in case it was like "Congratulations! We caught the last of the rabid raccoons on campus, so no worries about getting rabies in the Fall of 2013, well unless you just go play with wild animals on your own time, but then thats your fault not ours so.... CONGRATULATIONS!!"
So I did read on.
"We are pleased to offer you a spot in the Honors Program for Fall 2013."
There may still be rabid raccoons on campus, but hey I'm in the Honors Program.
Who's excited for classes about "amusement parks in america," classes that take "weekly and biweekly field trips" around Cincinatti, and classes with no tests?
Me. Because Fall of 2013 I will be at NKU, Honors Program.
Make Up Blog #13
Writing and me this year has been an interesting thing. I've done quite a lot of it, for quite a few different classses. Thats kind of what happens though when five of your classes are essentially english classes, just some are elective and very nontraditional. Nonetheless, I've done my fair share of writing this year.
The things is though, all of it has been different and all of it has served a purpose, and all of it is something that has helped me in one way or another. Teachers always say that the more you write the better you will become at it, and that very much is a true sentiment. This year has only increased how true I see this being.
First there is AP English Lit with Mullins. Your traditional I'm-going-to-make-you-work-super-hard-and-give-so-much-work-that-you-want-to-cry-hysterically-and-i'll-just-sit-back-silently-watching-and-laughing english class. But it was a good english class, I've honestly learned a lot (except the whole meter and feet thing in poetry, I dont know an iambic tetrameter from a pteradyactle centameter, and I STILL cannot count syllables...) but regardless of my inability to preform tasks that most third graders can do, I still liked this class. It gave me a chance to improve my more formal writing side, the things that I will continue to use in college. I've learned a lot about how to formulate an essay effectively and that is something that I'm glad to be able to do (even if it is not always the most effective essay) and will most likely continue to hear Mullins voice in the back of my head everytime I go to write an essay saying things like "Is that a claim that just started that paragraph? No? YOU'RE WRONG!" or "Are you really ending your paper in quote, seriously?" In my head Mullins sounds a lot like a sarcast, snarky, and judgemental dictator, ruling over the land of essays, grammatical rules, and AP English Lit.
Then theres my Women's Studies independent study, where I pretty much just write a lot of papers (when I actually do write the papers...) However, it is another place where I've gottent to practice formal writing and its been kind of fun, because these not only need to be formal, but a lot of the time I have to submit my own personal opinion into them. Getting the write balance of formality and me has been interesting.
Newspaper and Sportswriting kind of get jumbled together because the type of writing I do in them is really similar, just on different subjects. However between these two classes I'm more than ever sure that I want to be a print media journalist (even though I will forever be broke and print media is a dying art and blah, I ignore this and take the more "Ohhhhh! Look my names in INK on PAPER and it will be FOREVER!). However I've learned the ways that journalist are required to write and the little technical aspects of them that they need to do and I find it fascinating. So whether I decide to do sports journalism, war correspondence, political something another, or end up writing reviews of local elementary school plays, Turner and Knight have helped me determine that I really want to be a journalist.
Last, theres Creative Writing. Creative writing is like my safe haven. It is were I can write things they can completely suck and Egan just smiles and says "It's okay try again and see if you can do better" at least thats probably his version of what he says, not the real "NO! That's WRONG! Change everything about yourself!" Then again, maybe it is something more towards the middle of the two.... Either way, I love creative writing. I love filling the pages of my journal with chicken scratch that one day may grow up to be beautiful words typed up on a page. Creative writing lets me explore myself in a way that nothing else does, and its a style of writing that nothing else can fill.
Like I said though, theres a lot of classes that have influenced my writing this year and I am honestly glad for each and everyone of them.
The things is though, all of it has been different and all of it has served a purpose, and all of it is something that has helped me in one way or another. Teachers always say that the more you write the better you will become at it, and that very much is a true sentiment. This year has only increased how true I see this being.
First there is AP English Lit with Mullins. Your traditional I'm-going-to-make-you-work-super-hard-and-give-so-much-work-that-you-want-to-cry-hysterically-and-i'll-just-sit-back-silently-watching-and-laughing english class. But it was a good english class, I've honestly learned a lot (except the whole meter and feet thing in poetry, I dont know an iambic tetrameter from a pteradyactle centameter, and I STILL cannot count syllables...) but regardless of my inability to preform tasks that most third graders can do, I still liked this class. It gave me a chance to improve my more formal writing side, the things that I will continue to use in college. I've learned a lot about how to formulate an essay effectively and that is something that I'm glad to be able to do (even if it is not always the most effective essay) and will most likely continue to hear Mullins voice in the back of my head everytime I go to write an essay saying things like "Is that a claim that just started that paragraph? No? YOU'RE WRONG!" or "Are you really ending your paper in quote, seriously?" In my head Mullins sounds a lot like a sarcast, snarky, and judgemental dictator, ruling over the land of essays, grammatical rules, and AP English Lit.
Then theres my Women's Studies independent study, where I pretty much just write a lot of papers (when I actually do write the papers...) However, it is another place where I've gottent to practice formal writing and its been kind of fun, because these not only need to be formal, but a lot of the time I have to submit my own personal opinion into them. Getting the write balance of formality and me has been interesting.
Newspaper and Sportswriting kind of get jumbled together because the type of writing I do in them is really similar, just on different subjects. However between these two classes I'm more than ever sure that I want to be a print media journalist (even though I will forever be broke and print media is a dying art and blah, I ignore this and take the more "Ohhhhh! Look my names in INK on PAPER and it will be FOREVER!). However I've learned the ways that journalist are required to write and the little technical aspects of them that they need to do and I find it fascinating. So whether I decide to do sports journalism, war correspondence, political something another, or end up writing reviews of local elementary school plays, Turner and Knight have helped me determine that I really want to be a journalist.
Last, theres Creative Writing. Creative writing is like my safe haven. It is were I can write things they can completely suck and Egan just smiles and says "It's okay try again and see if you can do better" at least thats probably his version of what he says, not the real "NO! That's WRONG! Change everything about yourself!" Then again, maybe it is something more towards the middle of the two.... Either way, I love creative writing. I love filling the pages of my journal with chicken scratch that one day may grow up to be beautiful words typed up on a page. Creative writing lets me explore myself in a way that nothing else does, and its a style of writing that nothing else can fill.
Like I said though, theres a lot of classes that have influenced my writing this year and I am honestly glad for each and everyone of them.
Make Up Blog #12
So I'm not going to hide behind some half-- excuse becuase there really isnt much of one. Honestly, I've really sucked at doing blog posts this semester (and I really did last semester too). It's just that I forget a lot especially when I'm doing what feels like a hundred million other things, and so small things like blog posts frequently slip through the cracks. However that's no excuse, I do have time, it's just usually that free time instead gets spent on decrompressing from everything else in life, sleeping, or going to see friends who I;ve not seen in way too long. And lets be honest, when you measure up the things there are to do in life on a thursday night, which is more appealing a blog post or sleeping/going to see friends?
The thing is though this really is hurting me. There is the fact that blog posts not done means not so good grades, but theres also the fact that blogging means writing and thats something I like to do and like to get better at. This year I made my sort of New Years resolition to blog more, and not just my school one. Instead I created another blog for my perosnal rants and life outside of school, but even that one continues to get neglected as well.
The part that is even more baffeling is that I do write these blogs, in my head. I'll come up with exactly what I want to say, but when it comes to actually typing it up it just never quite makes it there.
So here is my new commitment: to write more blogs. I know this is kind of late in the school sense, but as a personal thing, I think blogs help me discover what I thinking and really process what's going on inside of me. There also is the whole cheesy "they help me grow" by "discovering myself" and letting me look back at the things I was and have said. Regardless it is true and I plan to now attempt to blog more.
The thing is though this really is hurting me. There is the fact that blog posts not done means not so good grades, but theres also the fact that blogging means writing and thats something I like to do and like to get better at. This year I made my sort of New Years resolition to blog more, and not just my school one. Instead I created another blog for my perosnal rants and life outside of school, but even that one continues to get neglected as well.
The part that is even more baffeling is that I do write these blogs, in my head. I'll come up with exactly what I want to say, but when it comes to actually typing it up it just never quite makes it there.
So here is my new commitment: to write more blogs. I know this is kind of late in the school sense, but as a personal thing, I think blogs help me discover what I thinking and really process what's going on inside of me. There also is the whole cheesy "they help me grow" by "discovering myself" and letting me look back at the things I was and have said. Regardless it is true and I plan to now attempt to blog more.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Blog for 3-21-13
So, for my poetry response tonight I wrote about my connection with Denise Duhamel's poem "When You Forget to Feed Your Gerbil" which is really good and really short and just awesome. But besides all that I really connect to the piece, both because I'm notorious for loving animals but being hated by them, frequently killing them, and for having mommy's issues. It's just a lot of fun times.
Ummmmmmmmm, other literary related things? I'm a sorta-kinda-not really-or officially editor for Lit Mag, basically meaning I do about of the crap work, but don't get an official title... But Lit Mag is fun and going to be awesome (even if our acceptance rate currently is like 25%), but we have yet to get to a lot of the pieces submitted by our class or creative writing 2/3.
Also, today in english class I wrote a poem, it's totally awesome and legit and like the best thing ever. Okay, not really any of that, but it makes me laugh and I feel the need to share it so here it is:
Dear Owner of the '86 DeLorean:
I'd tap that.
Well, more like hit that.
And more like I did...
With my car...
Bending your vanity license plate "OUTATIME" and
tearing your "I left my flux capacitor back in 1955" bumper sticker.
I've never been skilled in "driving"
Check out my bumper,
it's a crime scene.
just ask that squirrel,
forever splattered on the side of I64.
He's not going anywhere.
That smeared squirrel patch?
He'll wait for you,
Where I didnt.
But I left a note
(just not my number)
Sorry!
These are the things that come to my mind when I'm supposed to be analyzing the horrors that is Emily Dickinson. You can tell that I'm super productive then. This makes me happy though oddly.
TP-CAST and Rhetorical Triangle that Mullins.
Ummmmmmmmm, other literary related things? I'm a sorta-kinda-not really-or officially editor for Lit Mag, basically meaning I do about of the crap work, but don't get an official title... But Lit Mag is fun and going to be awesome (even if our acceptance rate currently is like 25%), but we have yet to get to a lot of the pieces submitted by our class or creative writing 2/3.
Also, today in english class I wrote a poem, it's totally awesome and legit and like the best thing ever. Okay, not really any of that, but it makes me laugh and I feel the need to share it so here it is:
Dear Owner of the '86 DeLorean:
I'd tap that.
Well, more like hit that.
And more like I did...
With my car...
Bending your vanity license plate "OUTATIME" and
tearing your "I left my flux capacitor back in 1955" bumper sticker.
I've never been skilled in "driving"
Check out my bumper,
it's a crime scene.
just ask that squirrel,
forever splattered on the side of I64.
He's not going anywhere.
That smeared squirrel patch?
He'll wait for you,
Where I didnt.
But I left a note
(just not my number)
Sorry!
These are the things that come to my mind when I'm supposed to be analyzing the horrors that is Emily Dickinson. You can tell that I'm super productive then. This makes me happy though oddly.
TP-CAST and Rhetorical Triangle that Mullins.
Monday, March 18, 2013
Blog for 2-14-13
Mullins posted the article from Huffington Post about formal letter writing, and I can honestly say I don't think that I've written an actual letter to someone (not just a BS school assignment) since like 6th grade.
You see when I was little, I had my best friend move away to North Carolina. We used to then write each other quite frequently as a way to keep in touch.
In the letters we would tell each other all about our lives, the things we were doing, the new friends we had made. We talked about our family, our pets, our schools all trivial things thinking back but at the time they were of deep importance.
I remember the excitement I would get or getting a letter in the mail, I would rush inside, rip the envelope open ( I was never skilled at nicely opening letters) and tear into the letter, soaking up all the words on the page. The whole process was always just awesome to me as a young child.
I will admit when it came to our letter writing, I was some what lacking in writing. I would forget quite often and there would be long lapses in between my letters. I was kinda bad at it.
But never the less, letter writing was a way to keep a friendship a live. It was personally we still felt like we new each other and we're close. I don't think this could have been achieved through email, in fact I know it couldn't have been.
A few years into middle school we switched to email only writing, and soon lost touch, something that I regret.
Letter writing is a dying art, as in the postal service and I can easily say I will be sad to see either of them go. In my high school, 18 year old heart there is a team of nostalgia for my forgotten friendship and formal letter writing.
You see when I was little, I had my best friend move away to North Carolina. We used to then write each other quite frequently as a way to keep in touch.
In the letters we would tell each other all about our lives, the things we were doing, the new friends we had made. We talked about our family, our pets, our schools all trivial things thinking back but at the time they were of deep importance.
I remember the excitement I would get or getting a letter in the mail, I would rush inside, rip the envelope open ( I was never skilled at nicely opening letters) and tear into the letter, soaking up all the words on the page. The whole process was always just awesome to me as a young child.
I will admit when it came to our letter writing, I was some what lacking in writing. I would forget quite often and there would be long lapses in between my letters. I was kinda bad at it.
But never the less, letter writing was a way to keep a friendship a live. It was personally we still felt like we new each other and we're close. I don't think this could have been achieved through email, in fact I know it couldn't have been.
A few years into middle school we switched to email only writing, and soon lost touch, something that I regret.
Letter writing is a dying art, as in the postal service and I can easily say I will be sad to see either of them go. In my high school, 18 year old heart there is a team of nostalgia for my forgotten friendship and formal letter writing.
Blog for 2-21-13
Mullins posted the article from the NY Times about guns on campus and I have to say until seeing that I hadn't really thought about that as an issue.
You see I'm going to a small state university here in Kentucky. Come next fall I'll find myself in Highland Heights at NKU.
This school as I said is pretty small, and relatively crime free outside of some petty theft that can be found on any campus. That was one thing that I remember well from my campus tour, along with the fact that they have these "call boxes" sporadically around campus that you can press a button and it calls campus security and they can help you or escort you to a dorm or whatever is needed.
But guns on campus? Gun violence on campus? Never crossed my mind.
But now I think about it and it is a real concern and real debate that surrounds many.
Personally I am a pro gun person, I do not think they should ever be outright banned, but I do believe there need to be restrictions in place on them and honestly I think there needs to be some on college campuses.
I don't have a problem with people keeping a gun in their car on campus or having a conceal and carry permit and carrying on campus, but I'm not sure they should be brought into a classroom or a dorm.
My major concern is just the safety issue, theres so much more liability for accident now. Say there's a small fight or occurrence yet someone gets a little to into the and pulls or a gun, someone can get seriously hurt real quick.
Or say in a dorm, one person is a very responsible gun owner and keeps everything in order, has taken the necessary precautions, classes, and has the right permits, what about their roommate? Should they be required to go through certain gun training to since they will be in close proximity with it and could potentially end up using it?
There are also no gun safes in dorms, and a lot of colleges don't let students bring in furniture to a dorm room an a safe may fall into that. Plus there is the practicality of space.
I just don't see guns being carried into classrooms or in dorms on college campuses is a necessary thing. There are too many risks and liabilities.
You see I'm going to a small state university here in Kentucky. Come next fall I'll find myself in Highland Heights at NKU.
This school as I said is pretty small, and relatively crime free outside of some petty theft that can be found on any campus. That was one thing that I remember well from my campus tour, along with the fact that they have these "call boxes" sporadically around campus that you can press a button and it calls campus security and they can help you or escort you to a dorm or whatever is needed.
But guns on campus? Gun violence on campus? Never crossed my mind.
But now I think about it and it is a real concern and real debate that surrounds many.
Personally I am a pro gun person, I do not think they should ever be outright banned, but I do believe there need to be restrictions in place on them and honestly I think there needs to be some on college campuses.
I don't have a problem with people keeping a gun in their car on campus or having a conceal and carry permit and carrying on campus, but I'm not sure they should be brought into a classroom or a dorm.
My major concern is just the safety issue, theres so much more liability for accident now. Say there's a small fight or occurrence yet someone gets a little to into the and pulls or a gun, someone can get seriously hurt real quick.
Or say in a dorm, one person is a very responsible gun owner and keeps everything in order, has taken the necessary precautions, classes, and has the right permits, what about their roommate? Should they be required to go through certain gun training to since they will be in close proximity with it and could potentially end up using it?
There are also no gun safes in dorms, and a lot of colleges don't let students bring in furniture to a dorm room an a safe may fall into that. Plus there is the practicality of space.
I just don't see guns being carried into classrooms or in dorms on college campuses is a necessary thing. There are too many risks and liabilities.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Blog for 3-13-13
Our up coming unit is the poetry unit and I'm actually kinda really excited for it! I know a lot of people look at poetry and see it as frufru words and symbols strung together to say simple stuff about love, and sometimes theyre right, but personally I find poetry is so much more than that. I love the images that it can convey, the emotions and stories that it tells and all in a very short and limited format.
I think a lot of people associate poetry with things such as Shakespearean sonnets and thus the boring idea of them is born, and I'd have to agree reading Shakespearean sonnets for any length of time is pretty boring. But there's so many other types of poetry.
Take for example shell Silverstein, yes his poems are kids poems but they are poems and they are funny ad cute and make you have an emotional response none the less.
Or if you want to say that of course kids poems are better than take slam poets, they have so much energy and passion , you can't help get excited about them. And slam poems are the kind of poems that you don't need to be an english major to understand or write, you just need a sense of life, some experiences, and some rhythm.
Anis Mojgani is one of my favorites. He has a simple poem called "Rock Out" a common format of slam poems, yet it is o energetic and the examples he gives have so much energy it's just awesome.
I think a lot of people associate poetry with things such as Shakespearean sonnets and thus the boring idea of them is born, and I'd have to agree reading Shakespearean sonnets for any length of time is pretty boring. But there's so many other types of poetry.
Take for example shell Silverstein, yes his poems are kids poems but they are poems and they are funny ad cute and make you have an emotional response none the less.
Or if you want to say that of course kids poems are better than take slam poets, they have so much energy and passion , you can't help get excited about them. And slam poems are the kind of poems that you don't need to be an english major to understand or write, you just need a sense of life, some experiences, and some rhythm.
Anis Mojgani is one of my favorites. He has a simple poem called "Rock Out" a common format of slam poems, yet it is o energetic and the examples he gives have so much energy it's just awesome.
Mojgani, also does another frequently written form of slam poetry called "This is for." The one that he does is called "Shake the Dust." This is again another simple form that can be written fairly easily. One of the things that I really like about this is how relatable it is, all the examples and instances that he comes up with are things that you can visualize and almost feel. You understand the things that he is saying without even trying. One of my favorite lines in this poem is "This is for the two-year-olds who cannot be understood because they speak half-English and half-god" I just think the way that it flows and reads is striking I love it.
Like I said, I'm really excited for this poetry unit, even though some I know will be not my favorite or I may just hate, I feel it will broaden my view and appreciation.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Blog for 3-7-12
Things that are on my brain right now consist mostly of school. I keep thinking of all the things that have to get done and yet some how never seem too amidst the panic ridden anxiety issues, bouts of insomnia and then sleeping for 13 hours straight (okay thats not completely accurate, but its how I feel), two days of a lovely stomach virus, and general forgetting about them. For some odd reason right now, I keep feeling like I have a TON of things to do, but in all honesty theres not a whole lot, just a few things here and there that when added together make a sizable but fairly reasonable amount of things that I need to do.
However, when I think about what I have to do when it comes to school for some reason my brain gets utter lost in all the chaos of it and then freaks out and gets overwhelmed when I try to rationalize doing things in an organized manner. It sucks and I can't control it (another lovely side effect of the whole anxiety thing).
I try making lists. People tell me to do that a lot and sometimes they help, as I love getting to cross things off and feeling that small tiny bit of achievement at something so trivial (sometimes I will write out small things that are easily completed just so I can cross it off), but other times list instead terrorize me. I see all the things written out on paper, clean and orderly, all in a column and something about it, maybe the sheer number of things or the fact that it looks so organized and the rest of me feels so chaotic, they just instead intimidate me and make me feel inadequate.
This blog post is kind of shorter compared to usual ones, but thats because I dont want to become ranty and really dont know what else to write about. I just went with what first popped in my mind and honestly is something that I needed to say just didnt have a platform to do so, but currently thats on my brain, my lack of productivity simply because I feel overwhelmed and dont know what to do.
However, when I think about what I have to do when it comes to school for some reason my brain gets utter lost in all the chaos of it and then freaks out and gets overwhelmed when I try to rationalize doing things in an organized manner. It sucks and I can't control it (another lovely side effect of the whole anxiety thing).
I try making lists. People tell me to do that a lot and sometimes they help, as I love getting to cross things off and feeling that small tiny bit of achievement at something so trivial (sometimes I will write out small things that are easily completed just so I can cross it off), but other times list instead terrorize me. I see all the things written out on paper, clean and orderly, all in a column and something about it, maybe the sheer number of things or the fact that it looks so organized and the rest of me feels so chaotic, they just instead intimidate me and make me feel inadequate.
This blog post is kind of shorter compared to usual ones, but thats because I dont want to become ranty and really dont know what else to write about. I just went with what first popped in my mind and honestly is something that I needed to say just didnt have a platform to do so, but currently thats on my brain, my lack of productivity simply because I feel overwhelmed and dont know what to do.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Blog for 2/28/13
For warning: my blog this week is less about school or English and more about things in my life at the moment and how they are affecting school.
So, I've missed a lot of school lately. Like a lot of school. And there's a reason behind that.
I have anxiety.
I've always known that I've had mild anxiety issues, usually concerning social situations or when things change drastically or are just plan new and unknown to me. It's something that I've just kinda ignored.
Unfortunately I can't do that anymore. My anxiety slowly gotten worse and progressed to where it's effecting my ability to go to school.
I like school, I really do. I enjoy my classes and my teachers and the things I learn and do. Even with this though there a lot of mornings (honestly most mornings) in which I wake up and become over Ce by stress, dread, and a sickening feeling on my stomach caused by some unknown anxiety having to do with the idea of leaving my house and going to school. That sucky part of this is that it is momentarily incapacitating. However it oddly disappears as soon as I'm actually at school and I'm usually fine the rest of the day.
It isn't exclusive to school, just any situation with expectations of me, unknowns, or that are stressful. It sucks to say the least and greatly interferes with my life.
Currently I've taken a few steps to dealing with it and they're helping, but it's not solved and is still a major problem.
For right now though, I have anxiety and I'm admitting it.
So, I've missed a lot of school lately. Like a lot of school. And there's a reason behind that.
I have anxiety.
I've always known that I've had mild anxiety issues, usually concerning social situations or when things change drastically or are just plan new and unknown to me. It's something that I've just kinda ignored.
Unfortunately I can't do that anymore. My anxiety slowly gotten worse and progressed to where it's effecting my ability to go to school.
I like school, I really do. I enjoy my classes and my teachers and the things I learn and do. Even with this though there a lot of mornings (honestly most mornings) in which I wake up and become over Ce by stress, dread, and a sickening feeling on my stomach caused by some unknown anxiety having to do with the idea of leaving my house and going to school. That sucky part of this is that it is momentarily incapacitating. However it oddly disappears as soon as I'm actually at school and I'm usually fine the rest of the day.
It isn't exclusive to school, just any situation with expectations of me, unknowns, or that are stressful. It sucks to say the least and greatly interferes with my life.
Currently I've taken a few steps to dealing with it and they're helping, but it's not solved and is still a major problem.
For right now though, I have anxiety and I'm admitting it.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Blog post 2/7/13
Random fact to start off my blog: for some reason for the past week every time to write the date I write a "4" for the month instead of a "2." No idea why.
So, now onto my actual blog post.
Today was the first day of reading Beloved by Toni Morrison for class. So far I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the book. I don't hate it or find it horrible as of yet, but it also hasn't completely grabbed my attention to the point that I don't want to put it down. The one thing I do know is that it is not going to be a book that I can just read through at my normal pace. I understand that I need to slow down and pay attention the minuscule details in order to get and understand the whole picture.
However, saying all that the story as a whole does intrigue me. I like that it's based off of a true event even if it is just loosely.
About what we've read so far, my main question that I'm not entirely sure on is what is with all of the trees? There multiple images of trees in the book and the fact that they keep getting repeated makes me think there is a fairly big significance to them. As of yet I don't fully understand what that is, but I'm interested to read more and find out.
Other random thing I find intriguing about the story:
Originally when I was reading I found it kinda strange that there was this supposed ghost in the house that people acknowledged but just kinda dealt with. But then I realized something, it's not much different then the "ghost" or whatever it was that lived in the house I grew up in. The house I grew up in had a figure that occupied it along with my family. It was a shadow figure, like a black silhouette, of a very tall man (who may have been wearing a hat). The front door of the house opened into a foyer and the stairs were right there. I remember several times seeing him standing at the top of the stairs but as soon as I'd look away he'd disappear. This happened a couple times and I believe my brother saw him as well. My sister also had an experience of someone tapping her on her shoulder/hovering over her while she was sitting in our dining area on the computer yet when she turned around no one was there.
Gran-it there was a major difference in the disposition of the ghosts as the one from Beloved seems to be more chaotic, sad, and angry while the one from my childhood home was more calm and curious and unobtrusive. There was also the major difference that when I tell people about the shadow man they tend to get a little freaked out while the ghost in Beloved is fairly accepted.
However what I find most interesting about all of this is that Denver finds comfort in the ghost as it is the only one who has never left her. I can relate to that. Not quite the same as I did not take comfort in the shadow man being there, but I was never upset by it or afraid of him. He was a part of my house just like my room and everything else in it, and although not quite part of my family he was still an accepted being that resided there with us. I've never really questioned who he was or why he was there (there supposedly a "curse" about the house but that involves people getting divorced and doesn't fit her). All the same, the shadow man was part of my house growing and part of my childhood. The memories of him aren't quite fond, but are ones that I've come to appreciate and be intrigued by. Many times I've missed that house, for too many reasons to count, but I wonder if the lacking of loneliness in the house due to shadow man is one of them.
So, now onto my actual blog post.
Today was the first day of reading Beloved by Toni Morrison for class. So far I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the book. I don't hate it or find it horrible as of yet, but it also hasn't completely grabbed my attention to the point that I don't want to put it down. The one thing I do know is that it is not going to be a book that I can just read through at my normal pace. I understand that I need to slow down and pay attention the minuscule details in order to get and understand the whole picture.
However, saying all that the story as a whole does intrigue me. I like that it's based off of a true event even if it is just loosely.
About what we've read so far, my main question that I'm not entirely sure on is what is with all of the trees? There multiple images of trees in the book and the fact that they keep getting repeated makes me think there is a fairly big significance to them. As of yet I don't fully understand what that is, but I'm interested to read more and find out.
Other random thing I find intriguing about the story:
Originally when I was reading I found it kinda strange that there was this supposed ghost in the house that people acknowledged but just kinda dealt with. But then I realized something, it's not much different then the "ghost" or whatever it was that lived in the house I grew up in. The house I grew up in had a figure that occupied it along with my family. It was a shadow figure, like a black silhouette, of a very tall man (who may have been wearing a hat). The front door of the house opened into a foyer and the stairs were right there. I remember several times seeing him standing at the top of the stairs but as soon as I'd look away he'd disappear. This happened a couple times and I believe my brother saw him as well. My sister also had an experience of someone tapping her on her shoulder/hovering over her while she was sitting in our dining area on the computer yet when she turned around no one was there.
Gran-it there was a major difference in the disposition of the ghosts as the one from Beloved seems to be more chaotic, sad, and angry while the one from my childhood home was more calm and curious and unobtrusive. There was also the major difference that when I tell people about the shadow man they tend to get a little freaked out while the ghost in Beloved is fairly accepted.
However what I find most interesting about all of this is that Denver finds comfort in the ghost as it is the only one who has never left her. I can relate to that. Not quite the same as I did not take comfort in the shadow man being there, but I was never upset by it or afraid of him. He was a part of my house just like my room and everything else in it, and although not quite part of my family he was still an accepted being that resided there with us. I've never really questioned who he was or why he was there (there supposedly a "curse" about the house but that involves people getting divorced and doesn't fit her). All the same, the shadow man was part of my house growing and part of my childhood. The memories of him aren't quite fond, but are ones that I've come to appreciate and be intrigued by. Many times I've missed that house, for too many reasons to count, but I wonder if the lacking of loneliness in the house due to shadow man is one of them.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Second Semester Blog #3
Mullins posted the link about "Outlining in Reverse" as a suggested blog post and as a writer who both loves and detests prewriting I figured it might be interesting to read and then give thoughts on it.
My Experiences with Prewriting:
I hate prewriting. In elementary school we used to have to do it constantly before every thing that we wrote and then we were graded on it. As a 7-8 year old kid I hated this and thought it was stupid (okay maybe I just didnt want to do it and now that I'm older have formed an actual reason as to why I was opposed to it). We used to have starburst organizer that we would have to fill out these "starburst prewriting work sheets." I have no idea how to describe them, they basically had three sections: topic, details, and explanations (at least I think those are the three) and they where just annoying, theres no way to explain why without a visual of it (and a google search turned up nothing). We also had to do organizer sheets like the classic hamburger organizer and whatever this thing was as well as probably several others that I have repressed from my memory. But it was the fact that we were graded on them that irked me and even stupider was the fact that teachers would be like "Oh, well this is just for you and is a way to help you get your thoughts together" yet they'd grade the things and then tell me it wasnt good enough. How can you tell me my own thoughts that are helping me are in fact not good enough?
Because of my elementary fiasco with prewriting I think I have pushed away most ways of prewriting today and just write and see what happens. This is especially true when I write creatively, I will have an idea in my head and instead of planning it our I just write and see where it takes me. With academic writing, usually the only prewriting I do is may a quick outline on a scrap sheet of paper of what I need to talk about, usually just broad topics, and then make a few more quick notes of some specifics that would go with them. I write and then make minor changes afterwards.
Things From the Article:
The article was written by a writer that also doesnt prewrite, instead they write, getting all there thoughts on paper and then go back and make changes. I can relate to that so I liked the article and understood a lot of what they where saying and that is pretty much all that I was expecting to get out of it. Instead though it gave me a few ideas. Mostly about how to self edit. Like the author I suck at self editing and rely heavily on teachers and friends to give me advice on what to change. I will make minor changes, but what majorly needs to be changed is frequently hard for me to recognize. However the authors idea to turn it into a math equation seems extremely useful and is definitely something I plan to try. In this way I think that I will be able to make my pieces better. Their idea of "Outlining is reverse" or what I'll probably call "post-writing, pre-writing" is something that I'm excited to use and see if it will help benefit my writing in both academic and creative circumstances.
My Experiences with Prewriting:
I hate prewriting. In elementary school we used to have to do it constantly before every thing that we wrote and then we were graded on it. As a 7-8 year old kid I hated this and thought it was stupid (okay maybe I just didnt want to do it and now that I'm older have formed an actual reason as to why I was opposed to it). We used to have starburst organizer that we would have to fill out these "starburst prewriting work sheets." I have no idea how to describe them, they basically had three sections: topic, details, and explanations (at least I think those are the three) and they where just annoying, theres no way to explain why without a visual of it (and a google search turned up nothing). We also had to do organizer sheets like the classic hamburger organizer and whatever this thing was as well as probably several others that I have repressed from my memory. But it was the fact that we were graded on them that irked me and even stupider was the fact that teachers would be like "Oh, well this is just for you and is a way to help you get your thoughts together" yet they'd grade the things and then tell me it wasnt good enough. How can you tell me my own thoughts that are helping me are in fact not good enough?
Because of my elementary fiasco with prewriting I think I have pushed away most ways of prewriting today and just write and see what happens. This is especially true when I write creatively, I will have an idea in my head and instead of planning it our I just write and see where it takes me. With academic writing, usually the only prewriting I do is may a quick outline on a scrap sheet of paper of what I need to talk about, usually just broad topics, and then make a few more quick notes of some specifics that would go with them. I write and then make minor changes afterwards.
Things From the Article:
The article was written by a writer that also doesnt prewrite, instead they write, getting all there thoughts on paper and then go back and make changes. I can relate to that so I liked the article and understood a lot of what they where saying and that is pretty much all that I was expecting to get out of it. Instead though it gave me a few ideas. Mostly about how to self edit. Like the author I suck at self editing and rely heavily on teachers and friends to give me advice on what to change. I will make minor changes, but what majorly needs to be changed is frequently hard for me to recognize. However the authors idea to turn it into a math equation seems extremely useful and is definitely something I plan to try. In this way I think that I will be able to make my pieces better. Their idea of "Outlining is reverse" or what I'll probably call "post-writing, pre-writing" is something that I'm excited to use and see if it will help benefit my writing in both academic and creative circumstances.
Second Semester Blog Post #2
The ending of The Road was not exactly what I expected that it would be, but even saying that, I'm not entirely certain how I thought the story might end. I knew that it would have to eventually end and I was expected that as all stories do, but I dont know what I was expected, just that it doesnt seem to be that.
Part of me thinks that it is because the story ends with the boy, meaning that the man is no longer in the picture do to his death yet the boy lives on and now has a second chance at a better life. And I guess this makes sense, the boy was the one that was supposidly "carrying the fire" and he was the one that was being protected, the reason for the man to live. But even so for some reason the fact that the story ended with only the boy surprised me.
I think part of me felt that the novel was the man's story, as he was the one that frequently narrated what was going on and the one that had more comments through out the novel. I guess I kind of felt that it was the man's story and the boy just happened to be in it.
I know this isnt completely true and that it was the story of the man and the story of the boy and the story of the road, but even so for some reason I felt the closest to the character of the man, I felt I knew him the most. The road was haunting and eerie, a distant threat and the boy was an intiguing character that I wanted to know more about. But even with this I wasnt quite expecting the man to die.
Even with that I still wanst expecting that the man and the boy would make it to the coast and then find something life changing and live happily ever after. No, that would have been a happy ending to a happy story and The Road is not a happy story.
I am very much satisfied with the ending, even though it probably creates more questions than it answers, I am still satisfied with it somehow. McCarthy did an amazing job of that and I even though there is no resolution outside of the father dying and the boy finding a new family (and several other things so yes there is a great deal of a resolution) there still is closure to the book and the story without actually being closure.
I was excited to find that I did in fact like the ending to the story as my expectations for the book were high and the ending fulfilled them. However part of me was just happy to see that it didnt have a "The Mist" ending (the movie based on the book by Stephen King, not the book itself as I have not read it and it is supposidly drastically different). With all the talk of the gun and how many bullets were left I was expecting it to end in the tragic way that the movie did.
All in all I liked The Road, even if it was the boys story in the end.
Part of me thinks that it is because the story ends with the boy, meaning that the man is no longer in the picture do to his death yet the boy lives on and now has a second chance at a better life. And I guess this makes sense, the boy was the one that was supposidly "carrying the fire" and he was the one that was being protected, the reason for the man to live. But even so for some reason the fact that the story ended with only the boy surprised me.
I think part of me felt that the novel was the man's story, as he was the one that frequently narrated what was going on and the one that had more comments through out the novel. I guess I kind of felt that it was the man's story and the boy just happened to be in it.
I know this isnt completely true and that it was the story of the man and the story of the boy and the story of the road, but even so for some reason I felt the closest to the character of the man, I felt I knew him the most. The road was haunting and eerie, a distant threat and the boy was an intiguing character that I wanted to know more about. But even with this I wasnt quite expecting the man to die.
Even with that I still wanst expecting that the man and the boy would make it to the coast and then find something life changing and live happily ever after. No, that would have been a happy ending to a happy story and The Road is not a happy story.
I am very much satisfied with the ending, even though it probably creates more questions than it answers, I am still satisfied with it somehow. McCarthy did an amazing job of that and I even though there is no resolution outside of the father dying and the boy finding a new family (and several other things so yes there is a great deal of a resolution) there still is closure to the book and the story without actually being closure.
I was excited to find that I did in fact like the ending to the story as my expectations for the book were high and the ending fulfilled them. However part of me was just happy to see that it didnt have a "The Mist" ending (the movie based on the book by Stephen King, not the book itself as I have not read it and it is supposidly drastically different). With all the talk of the gun and how many bullets were left I was expecting it to end in the tragic way that the movie did.
All in all I liked The Road, even if it was the boys story in the end.
Second Semester Blog Post #1
I've decided that I want to blog about the road for today. So far I really am enjoying the novel and find Cormac McCarthy to be an awesome writer. Going into reading the book for class I was really excited that we would be getting to read The Road as I had heard a lot of really good things about it, specifically from my sister who highly reccomended it. I'm glad that the book is very much living up to the reviews that it was given as I hate to hear a lot of really good things about a book and then it ends up being a flop.
One of the things that I am oddly enjoying is using the envelope passages to track the story. When I first started it I figured that I would end up hating it and would just be doing it for the grade, however as I continue to do it I like that it gives me a way to track the progress of the book. I also like that it makes me slow down and think about the different aspects that are present in the book.
For my two topics I was tracking dreams/flash backs and faith/religion. Both of these pull out some interesting quotes and pieces in the novel however, the relationship with the mother during the mans flashbacks is something that greatly intrigues me. It is evident that she is no longer traveling with the man and the boy but we only get pieces of what happen with her and all revealed slowly over time. It is also interesting the tie that the mother and death seem to have with one another, as both of them seem to linger over the man and the boy, close enough that they can almost reach them several times, yet far enough away that they are never caught by either.
As the novel progresses I will be extremely interested to learn more about what happened with the mother and what her relationship with death (other than that she appears to be dead) is.
One of the things that I am oddly enjoying is using the envelope passages to track the story. When I first started it I figured that I would end up hating it and would just be doing it for the grade, however as I continue to do it I like that it gives me a way to track the progress of the book. I also like that it makes me slow down and think about the different aspects that are present in the book.
For my two topics I was tracking dreams/flash backs and faith/religion. Both of these pull out some interesting quotes and pieces in the novel however, the relationship with the mother during the mans flashbacks is something that greatly intrigues me. It is evident that she is no longer traveling with the man and the boy but we only get pieces of what happen with her and all revealed slowly over time. It is also interesting the tie that the mother and death seem to have with one another, as both of them seem to linger over the man and the boy, close enough that they can almost reach them several times, yet far enough away that they are never caught by either.
As the novel progresses I will be extremely interested to learn more about what happened with the mother and what her relationship with death (other than that she appears to be dead) is.
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